It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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