she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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