So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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