She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
