The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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