How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
