i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
