wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
