white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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