I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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