I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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