Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
