the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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