so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
