I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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