I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
