hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
