I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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