I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
