thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
