your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
