bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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