But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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