I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
