Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
