do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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