Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
