I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
