This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
