I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
