he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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