Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
