is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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