Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and she was petting her beer can
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize