Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
