am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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