you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've blown a few things in my day
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
