his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
