You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
worst night to have a conscience
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
