What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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