Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
