Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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