I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
