forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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