Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
