I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
