Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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