your parents love me but you hate me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.