Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.