i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.