bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.