Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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