Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
