Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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