pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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