the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
