Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
