So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
