Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't put those talents on a resume
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
