I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize