Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
4 words: hood of his car
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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