hotel room ftw
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
