brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
