there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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