Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
