I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.