im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart