its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
