Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Someone shit on the floor

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  (216): Someone shit on the floor http://tfl.nu/4f0v
  Replies (20) Good night (852) Bad night (3045)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm skeptical of all drag queens.

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  (832): I'm skeptical of all drag queens. http://tfl.nu/szh0
  Replies (13) Good night (963) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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  (563): his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off? http://tfl.nu/hp8b
  Replies (19) Good night (699) Bad night (4076)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?

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  (603): Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry? http://tfl.nu/3wve
  Replies (40) Good night (899) Bad night (4521)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

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  (615): I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women. http://tfl.nu/xpcj
  Replies (8) Good night (3301) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.

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  (619): He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy. http://tfl.nu/8ucs
  Replies (14) Good night (1241) Bad night (5303)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.

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  (520): Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day. http://tfl.nu/urgx
  Replies (6) Good night (4935) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke

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  (412): Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke http://tfl.nu/i48a
  Replies (11) Good night (2314) Bad night (1809)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'

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  (845): Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary' http://tfl.nu/zqo1
  Replies (7) Good night (3020) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..

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  (781): i just added no after every hockey player in my phone.. http://tfl.nu/mdhx
  Replies (13) Good night (2379) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar

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  (605): you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar http://tfl.nu/3k40
  Replies (17) Good night (1565) Bad night (2775)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo

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  (409): Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo http://tfl.nu/65rk
  Replies (15) Good night (2681) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.

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  (479): I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home. http://tfl.nu/yjx8
  Replies (13) Good night (1724) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.

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  (765): Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that. http://tfl.nu/51k0
  Replies (20) Good night (1730) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.

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  (703): I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat. http://tfl.nu/wce9
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (464)

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