I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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