she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.