Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize