Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
