Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
