Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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